Going the Distance
At the end of high school, all that my friends were worried about (besides figuring out how to best waste their summer vacation) were relationships and how to manage them going in to college. I’ve heard a surprising amount of pessimism from a lot of students here about maintaining long-distance relationships and keeping close even though the bae might be far away (rhyme, in case you didn’t catch that). As someone who’s had plenty of experience in managing long-distance relationships, I thought I’d inject a little more hope into the situation!
First off, I’m sick of hearing people say long-distance relationships “just don’t work.” Wrong. They do, and they can be just as strong and healthy as local relationships if you manage to find ways to cross that physical distance gap. I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for around a year now, so I can speak from personal experience. It’s definitely, definitely possible to make it work!
In terms of what you can do, here are some ideas:
- SKYPE. Pleeeease Skype. Skype is a life-saver, and setting up a regular time to Skype can make the distance a lot more bearable. I personally prefer doing Skype-dates, where we get together with some friends and stream or sync up a movie and just chat. I know it can seem kind of detached, but once you get used to it, it’s very natural.
- Call instead of text. We live in a world where texting is the thing, and I know that phone conversations can seem a little odd, but hearing someone else’s voice provides emotional cues that you wouldn’t get over text, and those can really help understanding, especially in an argument. It’s a lot easier to be angry and say cruel things that you don’t mean over text than in person/over the phone, so it’s generally better to stick to voice, especially if you’re having a fight.
- Snapchat. Snapchat is not just for sending dark, out-of-focus videos of your friends dancing around in a car in the middle of the night with loud trap music blasting your mic into oblivion. It’s also an easy way to keep your SO updated on stuff that you’re up to or want to let them know without losing that visual element.
- Ask them to visit Kenyon (or visit them). Yes, so, long-distance relationships are possible! But every once and a while, you need to see the person, well, in-person. If you go an excessively long time without seeing your SO, it starts to turn into a weird sort of Internet-only-relationship-y thing. If you miss them too much, have them visit over school breaks next year, if you can! Just know that you have to register any guest with Campus Safety, so ask your CA for the procedure if you’re considering doing that.
Long-distance relationships are totally possible, and you don’t have to end it just because you’re going to college in a different city, state, or even country. Stay in touch and Skype and see/talk to each other as much as possible, because that way the months in between seeing each other really aren’t that bad. With a bit of effort and a positive, optimistic attitude, you can be just like this classic, gorgeous, heterosexual stock photo...
...Except over the Internet.
...Until you see each other in person over break! Then TRU LUV!