Toto, I Have a Feeling We're Not in Gambier Anymore
Without further ado, things that blow your mind once you get off the hill:
1. Starbucks
It’s not in a Kroger and I can pretend I’m doing important business like all these other people in suits on laptops.
2. Air Conditioning
And I can control it. I AM GOD KANYE.
3. More than three people on the street at a time
Where did all these new people come from? The KAC? Gund Commons?
4. Some of those people are ADULTS
WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO HAVE THEIR LIVES TOGETHER?!
5. Some of those people are CHILDREN
WHAT ARE ALL THESE TINY HUMANS?!
6. Eye contact is not a thing
Sorry sir, I thought the sidewalk was Middle Path, my bad.
7. Buildings over three stories that aren’t Caples
Wooooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
8. The New York Times costs money
But…but…I just want to do the crossword…
9. Judgment
I don’t need to explain myself to you, fool!
10. So many different types of food!
Peirce is great, but over the summer I’m microwaving for myself so when I’m in civilization I will eat ALL THE THINGS.
11. Top 40 radio stations
All I recognize are the bass lines.
12. Needing a car/taxi/public transportation system
Why is everything so far away!?
