This Is What A Post Grad Looks Like
If there are five stages of graduation, I'd say I'm on about number three. I walked across the stage, I hugged people goodbye, and now I'm ... home. I've found myself stuck in this cycle of unhelpful thoughts. What if I never leave my house? What if I don't make any post-college friends? What if the last time I do literally anything fun already happened, and now I'm doomed to a life of grocery shopping and not hearing back from jobs?
This, of course, doesn't make sense. I'm moving to a new city in two weeks. I'm starting an internship at a literary agency, and I'm excited to work in the exact field my major was meant for. It's temporary, and in two months I could very well be back where I started. But it's something.
Being in this weird, stagnant period of time creates a breeding ground for reflection. I've spent a lot of it wishing I could go back to Kenyon and do things differently. I wish I had taken more classes outside of my comfort zone. I wish I had embraced my abroad experience more fully. I wish I had opened myself up to new people and friends, instead of letting anxieties get in the way.
I know I won't dwell on this forever. When "real life" gets going I hope I'll look back on this and shake my head and "tut tut" because I will be so old and wise. But despite holding a diploma, I still feel young and dumb. Maybe that's a good thing.
For now, let's just look back on my last week and remember that time I was not only on a meal plan, but also on a mechanical shark ... because that's the kind of thing that happens during Senior Week. I already miss it.